Unsolicited Advice
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Pregnancy is a time of excitement and anticipation. It is a time to say goodbye to evenings at the pub and hot baths and to relish full nights of sleep and concentrating on anything for hours. I read many books during my pregnancy and the first weeks of my daughter’s life. What I didn’t get enough of was input from other moms on what worked for them. What follows is what I read, what I got out of it, and what I figured out otherwise. This is not what I think everyone should do, but what I found worked for me. I hope that you find this interesting and useful while you figure out what works for you and your baby.
Before the Baby
Recommended Reading & Media Reviews:
I Loved:
Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskin If you only read one book on pregnancy and childbirth, make it this one. I’m not kidding.
The Big Book of Birth by Erica Lyon This book is a whole lot like the Gaskin book, but slightly less interesting, and a without the hippy. I’d particularly recommend this book if you are going with an OB instead of a Midwife.
Baby Catcher by Peggy Vincent This is a beautiful autobiography that does an excellent job of describing many different ways that childbirth can happen.
Prenatal Yoga with Shiva Rea DVD Nothing made my pregnancy more comfortable than doing this yoga DVD 2-3 times a week.
http://www.behindthename.com is the best internet resource to find out all about that cute name that you like.
Very Interesting:
Best Baby Products by Consumer Reports is a smart guide to baby stuff.
Mayo Clinic Complete Book of Pregnancy & Baby’s First Year provides a thorough overview of all things medical associated with pregnancy and childbirth.
The Girlfriend’s Guide to Pregnancy by Vicki Iovine is a fun overview of modern American pregnancy and childbirth. I may not completely agree with her and some of her advice is a little dated, but she prepared me for some of the oddities of pregnancy that nothing else even mentioned.
Your Week by Week Pregnancy by Dr Glade B. Curtis & Judith Schuler The fist part is cool in that it explains what is happening inside your belly, but the second part is mostly fear-mongering.
Natural Childbirth the Bradley Way by Susan McCutcheon did an excellent job of really explaining EXACTALLY what is happening during birth. Being able to really understand and visualize what was going on was very helpful to me. It is, however, poorly written and contained a whole lot of fluff.
Kinda Interesting:
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin is targeted at women training to be midwives, but it has a large section on birth stories that are interesting.
Birthing from Within by Pam England & Rob Horowitz contains a whole lot of wankery, but there’s some good stuff in there on what your partner can expect to do and how to emotionally prepare for life with baby.
Essential Exercises for the Childbearing Year by Elizabeth Noble has good diagrams of good stretches, but I found the author kinda ooky and I preferred the yoga.
The Business of Being Born is a documentary by Ricki Lake about birthing in the US. It is biased and a bit inflammatory, but not necessarily untrue.
I Hated:
What to Expect When You’re Expecting is training for how to sit back and accept medical intervention.
The Thinking Woman’s Guide to a Better Birth by Henci Goer is a fear-mongering text. She may be telling the truth, but she tells it in a way designed to freak you out.
The hardest thing for me to do during pregnancy was give up beer. I made some concessions by allowing myself half of a drink per day. Sometimes this was in the form of half a beer with dinner, but more often than not, it was a tablespoon of brandy in my hot toddy at bedtime. I found it relaxing, enjoyable, and it replaced my insomnia meds surprisingly effectively.
Most pregnant women complain of morning sickness. While I had a spot of it, it wasn’t as bad as many women suffer. I think that was partially because the hormones didn’t affect me as badly, but also because I have experience in dealing with severe nausea. My best advice is to make sure your stomach is never empty and never full, stick to the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apples, and toast) when you feel nauseated, and stock up on Ginger Altioids, ginger & peppermint tea, and seltzer.
The only other real problem I had with pregnancy (well, besides the six week migraine, but that isn’t a common pregnancy ailment) was fatigue. Regular yoga, lots of sleep, and a healthy diet helped, but I still spent a significant amount of time on the couch. I recommend a library card and a Netflix subscription. Catch up on your reading and watch a favorite TV show from beginning to end on DVD. During the migraine I started watching Star Trek: Voyager, and I finished it up shortly after my daughter was born.
When it comes to maternity clothes, I have two major points of advice. Buy elastic wasted pants early, and generally keep a look out for long shirts one size above your usual. Most maternity clothing is expensive and only useful for a short amount of time. I recommend purchasing core items in maternity sizes, to help you look and feel great, and fudge the rest. It is important to feel like you look great while you’re pregnant. Chances are, you look amazing and should show it off. Once the baby is born, it’ll be awhile before you get your figure back, so enjoy that tight belly while you have it!
What to Buy (or register for):
There’s all this cool baby stuff out there, but what will you really use? I ended up with a bunch of stuff that seemed like a good idea, and probably was for somebody, but not me. Following is a list of what I found useful.
Diapers
1 package of newborn disposable diapers
1 case 7th Generation Size 1 disposable diapers from
Amazon (Amazon gives discounts for subscriptions)
Diaper Champ (It really is the best!)
Mini-Shower to attach to your toilet
25 Indian Prefolds (not preemie)
5 small diaper covers (Bummi Wraps are my favorite)
Zinc Oxide Cream (Baby Bee Diaper Ointment, Balmex)
Moisture Barrier (Baby Bee Skin Cream, Bag Balm)
Small trashcan for disposables & wipes
Box or basket to hold a few disposables, covers, trash
can liners, and creams
Changing Pad
Covers or large hand towels
Travel Pad (with container for wipes)
Baby wipes
Store brand (Huggies Naturals are okay) and/or
Make your own with:
Dr Bronner’s Soap
Vitamin E Oil
Tee Tree Essential Oil
Flannel cloths or Paper Towels
Plastic Sealable Tub
(wipe warmer for cloth, or >6”hX6”d
cylindrical tub for paper towels)
At first you’re going to want to use newborn disposables for four reasons: 1. Meconioum (digested amniotic fluid—the first poo to exit your baby’s system) is seriously nasty and sticks like tar to everything. Keep your baby’s bottom lubed up with Vaseline and try to not let the black goo touch anything that you can’t throw away. 2. The healing belly button is easily aggravated into bleeding even after the umbilical stump has fallen off. The closures on cloth diaper covers easily aggravate the bellybutton. 3. It’s hard to cram enough cloth between those tiny little legs to soak up an entire pee, leading to leaks. 4. You have enough to deal with that first month without adding a load of laundry every other day on top of it. When your baby is passing regular poo (that yellow cottage cheese that passes for regular with a baby), has a fully healed belly button, has properly unfolded from the uterine position, and you are no longer completely insane from sleep deprivation, it’s safe to start using cloth diapers. Well, except for overnights and outings. I recommend keeping some disposables around for those reasons.
I chose to make my own wipes for the first few months when you use a ton of them. Yes, they’re cheaper, but mostly my sensitive little nose didn’t like the way the commercial wipes smelled. I still kept around a package of commercial wipes for travel purposes or when I hadn’t had a chance to make up my own, but for the most part, I’m super happy with my homemade wipes. The only downside is that they don’t keep for a long time.
Wipe recipe:
½ roll of paper towels (or Flannel Cloths)
2 c. water
1 t. Vitamin E Oil
½ t. Dr. Bronner’s Soap
3 drops Tea Tree Oil (optional)
3 drops your favorite scent (optional)
Choose a heavy-duty paper towel. Most generic or earth-friendly type will not hold up to being wet for a few days. Cut the roll in half with one of those break-away box knives (so you have a coherent top & bottom) and pull out the center cardboard in the center through the top of the hole. This should give you a cylinder with a tuft of towel sticking out the middle. Pop it into your container. Alternately, stack your flannel clothes inside your warmer. The advantage to cloth is that they can be laundered with your cloth diapers—easy peasy! Mix together the other ingredients and pour on top. Let soak for 15 minutes or so for full absorption. I purchase distilled water by the gallon to prevent impurities molding my wipes.
Cloth diapers are so easy these days! The usability of these things has improved ridiculously since you and I were in nappies. With the covers that I recommended, you don’t even need pins! Just fold that prefold into thirds, lay it down in the cover, and pop that baby on. When removing a dirty nappy, put the wet diaper into the nappy bin and let the cover dry out for it’s next use. Poopy diapers & covers should be sprayed off into your toilet with the Mini-Shower, wrung out, and then dumped into the nappy bin.
You’ll need more sizes of covers when your baby gets bigger, but try a few out in the small size to find out what kind you like and best fits your baby before buying the next size.
The Bummi’s (Whisper and Polar) are my favorite because the waterproof lining doesn’t stick to baby’s skin and and are trim enough to fit under baby’s clothes. They can be laundered right along with the diapers, but will last longer if they air dry. I like the Velcro closures better than the snaps because they come on and off faster and have more adjustability. Polar Bummis have the extra bonus of being soft and fuzzy, but not as elasticy.
The Prowraps Classic is an excellent cover and the least expensive, but can be sticky when wet. Do not be tempted by their newborn size with umbilical scoop. The elastic doesn’t protect the sensitive belly button from being bumped and scraped by the edge of the Velcro.
Many folks like wool covers, but they didn’t suit my fancy. The first time they accidentally got laundered with the diapers, they came out two sizes smaller.
I have also heard people rave about Fuzzy Bunz diapering system, but for the cost to benefit ratio, I prefer using Prefolds & covers. There are many cloth diapering options to sort through, and they all work for somebody. The only thing I found really didn’t work for me were fitted diapers. They mean that you have to close the diaper then close the cover and they always stick out of the cover causing leaks.
I line my nappy bin with a trash bag, and when it’s full, I dump the contents into my washer. Though it’s really a small size load, I set my washer to medium to give it plenty of water to work with and use an unscented laundry detergent. I usually wash nappies every other day. If I let it go longer than that, I might have to run them through the washer twice and they may start to mould. I’ve seen plenty of complicated instructions for the washing of nappies, but if you spray off the poo, just one sold wash cycle with regular (unscented!) detergent does the job.
Large hand towels or toddler size diapers make excellent covers for your changing pad and absorbent mats to place under your baby if you share your bed, etc.
The zinc oxide cream is for when your baby gets sores in their creases from getting damp and not being able to dry out, generally at the hip and neck. The moisture barrier cream helps prevent that from happening. I never really found a need for powders.
Baby Clothes
10 Onsies, or equivalent size 0-3 months &
10 size 3-6 months
1 Cardigan each size (more for winter sizes)
Socks (sizes up to 12 months)
4 Flannel Swaddling Blankets
(3/4 yard of flannel works best)
Babylegs
4 Baby blankets
You will probably receive way more clothes than these as gifts. It is really amazing how much people love to purchase baby clothes. This includes you. I recommend finding a children’s consignment shop or two in your area or keeping an eye on the sale sections of clothing websites. Most baby clothes are worn a half dozen times before they are grown out of, so it’s super easy to find really cool stuff for a fraction of the new price. The other advantage of consignment shops is that you’ll be buying a wider variety of brands that you would otherwise, and different sizes of different brands may fit your baby better.
The newborn uniform is a nappy, a onsie, and a flannel swaddling blanket, and a cap if it’s not summer. When it gets chilly, a baby blanket will keep those little legs warm in a way that is easy to remove for nappy changes. We were given over a dozen, and most were hand made. My favorite that wasn’t quilted, knit or crocheted is a Little Giraffe Chenille Blanket. It is crazy soft with a silky edging. Babylegs are essentially baby leg warmers in super cute colors and designs. Turns out, they’re brilliant for keeping those pudgy little legs warm without making diaper changes any more complicated. They are one size fits most, so they’ll scrunch up a bit at first, but their utility will last.
You’ll be tempted to buy mittens, but they don’t ever stay on for more than a few moments, and socks work a bit better. Besides, those fingers need to be out and exploring the world. Just be sure to keep those nails trimmed, and you should be fine, I found footsie pajamas annoying in the nappy changing department, and I hardly ever put my baby into pajamas. She wore a onesie until it was dirty or had been on her for 24 hours. I was not about to wake her up to change her if she was sleeping, or make her even more upset if she was fussing. If she was neither, I wasn’t about to rock the boat. Any clothing that didn’t snap at the bottom didn’t make it out of the dresser drawer very often. Shirts and dresses ride up and you are constantly pulling them down. That may be worthwhile if you’re dressing your baby up for something, but generally it’s more trouble than it’s worth.
Nursing
Nursing Support Pillow
(Boppy or Mothers Best Friend)
Breast Pads
Lanolin Nipple Cream
Soothies
Breast Pump
Bottles
Nursing Bras & Camisoles
Mother’s Best Friend is a Nursing Positioning Device. It is the best pillow to help perfectly position your baby. You strap it on. The Boppy is just a funny shaped pillow that can be useful in getting your baby’s head in the vicinity of your boob. Let your personality decide.
I prefer washable breast pads because disposables make just as much of a noticeable ring around your nipple, fold up when you’re trying to stealthily position them, and can’t be reused.
Lanolin nipple cream keeps those sore nipples lubed, moisturized, and protected from those initial haphazard interactions with baby’s mouth. Soothies are gel pads that are the perfect protection for raw nipples during those first weeks. You can even stick them in the freezer for engorgement relief.
Even though I’m a stay at home mom who is exclusively breastfeeding, I found my hand pump and bottles very useful for evening out those bumps in the road to a happy nursing relationship. If you are returning to work, an electric pump would be more useful. Hand pumps are only good for occasional use, not repeated, daily use. Wait until you’ve had your baby to purchase one, though. Even if you thought you absolutely have to go back to work, you may not want to, and vice versa. Wait and see before dropping the $50-$500.
Nursing Bras. Either wait to purchase these until your milk has come in (a week post-partum) or buy a few sizes and leave them in the packaging until then. Yes, your boobs inflated during pregnancy (you are making colustrum by the 5th month) but there are massive fluctuations yet in store. You will probably go up one size (ie 36C to a 38D) but don’t count on it. Don’t buy a nursing bra with an underwire as it can plug a duct. That can lead to mastitis, and you do not want that. You can pick up a few camisoles ahead of time, though, and I highly recommend it. I liked the camisoles from Glamourmom best. Just watch out for their sizing as they run a size smaller than everything else. Do not buy anything from Motherwear as they are of extremely poor quality. Target sells very inexpensive, comfortable, and durable nursing camisoles, but they aren’t pretty. Unless it was hot out, camisoles/tanks under a t-shirt or sweater ended up being the most comfortable & discrete. The camisoles cover the bottom bits and the over shirt covers the top bits.
Bath
Soap (Baby Bee Buttermilk Bar, California Baby
Shampoo & Body Wash)
I’ve found that the easiest way to bathe your baby without screaming fits from the cold is to get a foot (or more) of water in the tub, put a large bath towel in the bottom to make it soft (if the water is shallow), and hop on in right along with your baby. Set your baby in the water while holding her face above water. Get the ears just below water level and watch all the tension drain from your baby as he floats in the warm water. A handy washcloth will assist in scrubbing out those tender crevices. I prefer bar soap as it will not spill or drip into sensitive eyes, and I find J&J creepy (It’s ‘No Tears’ because it contains an anesthetic).
Hooded towels are not necessary, or even particularly useful. Two adult sized towels swaddle up a baby so that she is warm while she dries off. I recommend having a clean nappy and a clean outfit all ready to go before you hop into the tub. Bath time can also be a great time to include your partner. He can wash the baby while you hold her and can dry off the baby while you dry yourself off. Bath time can still be family fun, albeit a completely different kind from before the baby.
Health Kit
Baby nail clippers
Thermometer
Baby Tylenol
Gripe Water
Binky Med Dispenser
I liked the Gripe Water for my colicky baby. It helped soothe her tummy while we got through the difficult period. 1 in 4 babies have colic, and I hope that yours isn’t one of them.
Furniture
Crib (and/or Co-Sleeper)
Dresser
Changing Table (I used the top of my dresser)
Accessories
Baby Carriers
Baby Bouncer Seat
Play Mat
Infant Car Seat
Yoga Ball
Jogging Stroller (for runners/powerwalkers)
Selection of Pacifiers
Good Digital Camera (Cannon Powershot)
Flicker.com Pro Account
I recommend getting several baby carriers (Moby Wrap, Mei Tai, Sling, ERGO). Each works better in a different situation for a different person or as you baby ages and how it likes to be held changes. They are the ultimate in baby fashion! Check out ebay for used baby carriers.
A Baby Bouncer Seat is the best place to set your baby down. Choose one with a good bounce and an arch for dangling toys. I can’t imagine life without one of these.
Bouncing on a yoga ball while holding your baby is pure magic. Is your baby overtired and can’t fall asleep? Bundle her up tight, sit on your ball, and bounce. Instant sleep. Add shushing noises if necessary.
Get a wide variety of pacifiers. Some babies are into pacifiers and some aren’t while some are just picky about which kind it is. As long as you wait until nursing is established and you take them away when you introduce solids, they can be a very positive way to satisfy your baby’s non-nutritive sucking needs. My baby would only suck on my upturned pinky finger. I couldn’t wait for her to find her thumb, but she never did. When she started teething, she’d chew on binkies, but that’s the most use she got out of them.
Labor & Delivery:
I had my baby at home. I can not recommend this enough. I won’t belabor the safety issues, because you’ll hear enough about them if you read any of the books I recommended. The real issues for me were the superior care and attention I received from my midwife and the comfort of laboring, delivering, and recovering at home.
I sought out a midwife after being fed up with my OBs. I saw a different one each time for an average of about five minutes and when I asked questions about routine procedures, they told me things like, “Everyone gets an episiotomy.” My midwife spent an hour with me at each visit, and with her care my perineum stayed intact. I interviewed three midwives before I settled on the one I wanted, and I recommend that everyone who can do the same. Because of my insurance, I had to pay a little more to have a midwife, but it was easily worth every single penny. It also meant that my husband got to catch our baby. That’s worth more than I can adequately express.
As for the actual experience, I found that it’s kind of like tripping. In fact, it’s a whole lot like accidentally taking way, way too much of a psycidellic after eating bad Mexican food. It is very intense, but I didn’t find it to be very painful. It was uncomfortable at times, and it’s not what I’d generally choose to be doing on a Saturday night, but nothing a little butt-wiggle couldn’t ease. The part when the head came out hurt. A lot. A really whole lot. And, there’s a soreness afterward from the friction that lasts a few days, but overall, it’s not as big of a deal as popular media would have you believe. Understand what your body is doing, don’t lay on your back, have a midwife with warm compresses to talk you through it, and you’ll be fine.
I can try to tell you what it will be like, and I can probably provide you with a pretty good idea, but there are aspects of being a new parent that only experience can properly express. However, a friendly forewarning of some aspects can be extremely helpful.
After the Baby
Recommended Reading & Media Reviews:
I Loved:
Babies, Breastfeading, and Bonding by Ina May Gaskin is the perfect book on breastfeeding.
The Happiest Baby on the Block by Dr. Harvey Karp is how I survived colic, despite the author’s ridiculously high opinion of himself.
Touchpoints by T Berry Brazelton, M.D. is an amazing book on emotional & behavioral development. It is really nice to know that the crazy shit your kid is doing is normal. It’s even better to be expecting it.
How to Raise a Healthy Child… In Spite of Your Doctor by Robert S. Mendelsohn, M.D. is an excellent, well written text that illustrates a sensible approach to your child’s healthcare, tells you when to (and when not to) take your child to a doctor, and details how to care for common childhood ailments.
The Vaccine Book by Robert Sears should be read by every perspective parent. It clearly explains what is getting injected into your child and what people think about it in a non-judgemental way.
Smart Medicine for a Healthier Child by Zand, Roundtree, and Walton provides information on every conceivable way to treat most childhood ailments. An introduction to each approach to health management is followed by an alphabetical list of health problems. Each topic has, where applicable, an explanation of the disorder and how it would be treated by conventional medicine, diet, herbs, homeopathy, Bach flower remedy, and acupressure, and then general recommendations. While I don’t have much faith in a few of these approaches, I like that they are all laid out for me.
The Sleepeasy Solution by Waldburger and Spivack is the book I go back to the most. It not only provides very useful advice on how help your child to sleep through various situations and developmental phases, but it also provides much needed support and encouragement along the way.
The Petit Appetit Cookbook by Lisa Barnes has great info & recipes for tots. Like she says, “when you start feeling guilty eating in front of your baby, its time to start them on solids.” That happened at about 5 months for us, and this book was a great resource.
http://babble.com is the very best in parenting websites. The blogs are particularly addictive.
http://www.dirtydiaperdiaries.com/ is a delightful and humorous how to vid-blog.
Very Interesting:
The No-Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pentley has some great ideas for getting everyone to sleep well.
Vaccinations: A Thoughtful Parent’s Guide by Aviva Jill Romm is everything you could possibly want to know about vaccinations, and then a little bit more. It was one of the few unbiased information that I could find on this highly emotionalized topic.
Baby Signs by Acredolo, Goodwyn, & Abrams teaches you how to communicate with your child before your child can talk.
Caring for Your Baby and Young Child by The American Academy of Pediatrics lays out the basics of care and development of your child. It has alot of duplicate materieal with the Mayo Clinic book.
Kinda Interesting:
The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding by The Le Leche League is a decent book on breastfeeding if you can’t get a hold of the Ina May book.
The day after my baby was born, I was alert and energetic from the residual hormones, but after that, first two weeks of parenthood were a hazy, twilight time. The baby is very drowsy during that time, you are convalescing, and you are both learning how to breastfeed. I recommend you completely ignore the clock. Sleep when you can, eat when you’re hungry, and delegate all the house chores. At the end of two weeks, your baby will become more alert, you’ll be ready to go for short walks and cook the occasional meal, and the two of you will be pretty darn good at that nursing thing.
Your child, however, is still just an infant who wouldn’t be out of the womb if it weren’t for humanity’s large heads and small hips. The next three months are a very slow process from survival to easy routine. If you can afford to, I recommend hiring a housecleaner to come in every week or two. In the first month especially, only invite guests who will cook dinner and do the dishes afterwards. Until your baby is three and a half months old, the only thing you should worry about is caring for your baby. Anything you manage to do beyond that should be treated as the accomplishment it is.
It’s amazing how much work a tiny baby is. At the end of the day you can feel harried and exhausted when all you did was nurse and change nappies. Don’t underestimate how much work it is to be constantly at attention, soothing every cry. Don’t let your partner underestimate how much work it is, too. He’s got just as big of a job in fount of him, and that is to be your path to sanity while also bringing home the bacon. He is going to bring you water or anything else you need while you’re nursing or just too exhausted to get up. He’ll take charge of the baby while you take a bath, run an errand, or go to bed early. He’ll make sure you’re eating properly, the dishes & laundry are done, and he’ll even change a few nappies. That is not an exhaustive list, of course, but it does hit the high points. Your partner isn’t going to have as strong of an instinctual knowledge of how to care for the baby, so he needs your support too. Your job is to help him feel empowered but not too frustrated. Sometimes both of you will be frustrated, and that’s okay. Sometimes tag-teaming a crying baby is the only way to stay sane(ish).
Your attentiveness to your baby’s needs lets her feel safe and able to focus her energies on the important work of becoming a person. In the first year you cannot spoil your baby, so lavish her with all the love and attention you have the energy for. When she’s had her first temper tantrum, then you can worry about spoiling her. In the meantime, you must also remember that you need to take care of yourself too. It’s amazing how hard it can be to let your baby cry while you go to the bathroom or get a glass of water. During the first two weeks, a cry usually means that mom needs to do something, and then it will all be okay. After that, it can be trickier. Hopefully, you’ll have a blissful baby with no signs of colic, but even the most colicky baby is done with the screaming fits by four months of age. After three to four months, you’ll know a tired cry from a hungry cry from a wet nappy cry from a hold me cry and you’ll know just what to do about it.
Getting a good night’s sleep is one of the biggest challenges to a new mom. Stay open to your and your baby’s needs and be open to any possible solution. At first I kept my baby in a cradle, because she would keep me awake if she was right next to me and I had to get up to nurse her anyway. When we learned how to nurse lying down, she started spending more time in bed with me to minimize the amount I had to wake up for those nighttime feedings. When she was sleeping more than four hours at a stretch, I started the process of extracting her from my bed. Getting to the point where your child sleeps peacefully in their own bed for most of the night is instantaneous for some and takes years for others. The only right way for you and your baby to sleep is the way that works best for the both of you.
Don’t ever forget that feeding a newborn is a full time job. The first two weeks are spent in training. Every time you nurse, even in the middle of the night, you’ll probably have to get up, get situated in your nursing chair with your support pillow and glass of water, position your baby, make sure she opens her mouth up wide, guide her to the nipple, rinse, and repeat. It may seem tedious and a bit frustrating, but after two weeks you’ll both be getting the hang of it and by three weeks you’ll be pros. You’ll just get her mouth in the general vicinity of the nipple, and away she goes.
I highly recommend setting up a good nursing spot before your baby is even born. Find a really comfy chair (I liked one that was wide and low), put it in your favorite room, and put a table next to it (or on each side if possible) with room for a drink and a book. You will be spending some serious time there, so make it as comfortable as possible. My baby spent more than twice as much time on the boob as an average child, but even so, you’ll probably have plenty of time to catch up on your reading. I gave my library card a serious workout during those first few months. I usually kept two books at my nursing chair: one non-fiction book on parenting and one fluffy fiction novel to read when fuzzed out from sleep dep.
During the first two weeks, some really crazy things happen to your breasts. First, your baby will be receiving colostrum, which you’ve been making for nearly four months. While your baby sucks, hormones tell your uterus to contract. You can actually feel it happening, and it feels kinda like cramps. Next come The Torpedo Boobies. When your milk comes in, it comes in with the tap full on. You look like you’re wearing a bullet bra from the 50’s and you can shoot milk across the room. Your baby may sputter if you have a strong let-down, and you may have to express some milk if they are too hard for a proper latch. They may be sore, and cold compresses (like a bag of frozen peas) make them feel better. In a few days, your body will figure out just how much milk your baby needs, and your boobs will equalize to about one size above your pre-pregnancy size.
Also during this initial period, you may experience sore nipples. This is a first time mom thing, and while painful, will pass, and much faster than those hormone induced hemorrhoids that only a prescription can cure. Soothies do an excellent job of protecting your tender nipples from the fabric of your shirt, and when chilled in the freezer, provide an extra element of relief. If you have open sores on your nipples, mix together one quarter teaspoon each: Lanolin, anti-fungal, anti-yeast, and Neosporin. This will protect you from an infection that would hurt even worse while also soothing the tender nipple. Yes, this part of learning how to nurse really, really sucks, but stick with it. I promise that the benefit to your child’s health and the ease of nursing anywhere, anytime without any dishes is more than worth it.
Growth spurts can also lead to hiccups in the nursing relationship, but don’t let them get you down. If you need some support, have any questions, or are afraid that you might give it up, talk to your midwife, a lactation consultant, or a Le Leche League leader.
The Very Best Board Books:
Night Monkey, Day Monkey by Julia Donaldson
Ten Little Ladybugs by Melanie Gerth
This Little Chick by John Lawrence
The Very Hungry Caterpillar by Eric Carle
Gossie by Olivier Dunrea
There are other great children’s books out there to be sure, but these five will not let you down. They are amusing to kids who don’t even understand English yet, especially if you do funny voices. They are bright, beautiful, and best of all, you won’t get sick of reading them over and over and over and over again.
Solid Feeding:
It is so exciting when you can finally feed your baby solids! It’s actually kinda weird how exciting it is. At 4-5 months your baby will be unsure about the whole idea, at 6-7 months she’ll start to get into the swing of being fed mush, and by 9-10 months she’ll only eat if if she can put it into her own mouth. Just when you think you’ve got this thing down, it’ll change and, believe it or not, be even messier than before.
Traditional high chairs are expensive, top heavy, and huge. I prefer the kind that can be strapped onto an existing chair and convert into a booster seat. Eddie Bauer makes a very nice wood one. If you have the right kind of eating surface, the ones that attach directly onto your table are pretty handy too.
At the first stage, the quantities consumed will be very small. The change from milk is a whole new thing, so start slow and let her get the hang of it. Try little bits of mashed yam, banana, avocado, and applesauce.
At the second stage, find purée-able foods that your baby likes (mine liked beef stew, mango & black bean, oatmeal with applesauce, yams, cauliflower, broccoli, peas, and corn), and freeze it up in an ice cube tray. Defrost (or microwave *gasp* just be sure to stir it up and check the temp) a cube or two at a time.
At the third stage, it’s all about figuring out what you can put in front of them that they can a) pick up b) gum into submission and c) be prepared quickly. I’ve had luck with: yam sticks, well cooked broccoli, green beans, avocado chunks, pineapple, mango, peas, tofu, cooked apple or pear slices, semi-soft cheese (my girl likes brie!), scrambled or hard-boiled eggs, puffed grains (rice cakes, veggie bootie, baby kibble, rice crispies), overcooked rotini, cubes of bread, etc. It’s really messy. Just do what you can with a bib and be ready with a washcloth and a clean outfit for the end of the meal, or if it’s warm enough, feed ‘em nekid. Do not try to spoon feed them beyond their desire. They will eat better and cry less if you just let them do it themselves and just accept the mess and sometime seeming inability to actually eat any of what is being smeared around. This is the first real step on their path to independence. Encourage it with grace.
Useful Baby Feeding Paraphernalia:
Highchair
Bibs
Spoons (I like the kind that change color when hot, I think Munchkin makes them)
Condiment cups
Washcloths (flannel is pretty nice)
Covered Ice Cube Tray (I like Orca)
Mesh Feeder (Munchkin Again. Get extra mesh bags.)
Cuisinart (if you need an excuse to get one. It is super useful for ~5 months)
Sippy Cup
Solid food poo is a whole new thing, so be sure to make sure your baby is also drinking enough water. Constipation is usually easily cleared up with some watered down apple juice and pureed prunes.
Well, that’s what I’ve figured out so far... I enjoyed all the perspectives I could get from my friends and family, and I wished that I could have gotten even more. I hope you found it interesting and maybe a bit helpful, and if not, I hope it didn’t waste too much of your time. Good luck and have fun!